Murderous Love
by Astharoshe-san
Summary: Gaara has an obsession with Lee. What happens when this obsession escalates to something more, something dangerous, something...Murderous?
1. Murderous Love

**A/N: Well x] This is an attempt at a new way of writing this story. It's strange, I know, but I'm going to give it a shot. Let's see... In this story, we take a look at Lee's life from Gaara's viewpoint. It is kind of OOC, as far as his thoughts go. I suppose the world is a little AU, since the situation is different...I'm not entirely sure. In any case, please enjoy this read, and comment!**

* * *

Oh, beautiful boy.

Do you know I am here? Do you know that I watch you? No, probably not.

But that is okay. Even if you do not know I am here...I will always love you.

Always.

* * *

Do you remember, oh beautiful boy?

The day we met? Father took me to your village

A meeting with the Hokage. "Don't run off," he told me.

Of course, of course. Where would I run off to, in a village not my own?

I waited, and waited. Oh so long I awaited him. But night fell before he came.

I sat outside, I sat alone.

No one else but me.

But then you came by, with such a smiling face

It took my breath away.

So beautiful! Your hair so shining, even at night. And your smile so bright.

The moon cried in awe of your smile!

I watched you pass quietly (you didn't spare me a glance) with your hands being held by those two people.

Those people. The man with looks to define your own, and the woman with that smile. That grating, hate-inducing smile.

I hated her, oh beautiful boy. I hated them both, for they were lying to you.

Their love wasn't real. Not like mine.

Father came back soon after you had passed from my line of sight. Time to go home, he said.

I couldn't leave yet. Not with those people around you!

Followed you home, watched them tuck you into bed. It made me sick.

Their smiles so fake, their love so translucent. How could they spout such sickness?

They went to bed, and I crawled in.

That man tried to save her, the woman with the smile, but he broke too easily.

The sand crushed her bones so fine I could have made bread with it.

She pleaded with the sand.

Begged.

"Don't hurt the little leaf! He doesn't deserve to die!" She cried.

I assume she meant you. It enraged me.

I would never, ever hurt you! You know that, don't you?

I held her heart in my hand until it stopped beating.

Squeezed until there was nothing left.

And still it didn't feel real.

I remember his face.

I made him watch the sand work.

Finally, something real came from him.

His screams were real. The blood that spilled

Soaked my hands

Colored my hair.

But I made sure that night, that they would never hurt you again.

They could not lie to you.

Shower you in filthy fake words of love.

I found you, when I was done with them.

I watched you sleep, watched you dream.

Would you, one day, dream about me?

If I could sleep, I would dream of you.

Only you.

I touched your face with my bloody hand. I marked you then as mine. You're mine, don't you know?

You slept so soundly, it makes me smile even thinking about it.

I had to leave though. I wouldn't be able to stay the night and wake in the morning to see your joy and your relief.

Father was waiting for me. I had to go home. Back to the desert so far away.

I went home with Father, to meet with my siblings. They told me of a horrible story!

Of a boy orphaned in the village of Konoha after we left. A boy without a mother or father.

Someone killed them both. The child would have to be adopted at some point.

He was alone, now. No one to love him.

They told me the details, expecting me to feel sympathy for that child.

I had no care for that child. Why should I?

I would only think of you.

Because...Well, you know why, don't you?

No one will love you like I do.

Their love is not real.

Does not compare to mine.

They wouldn't do what I would do for you, oh beautiful boy.

Had that child been you, I would find that person who hurt you

I would.

* * *

You don't remember, do you?

It was such a long time ago, and you didn't even see me.

But that's okay, because I will _always_ love you.

**_Always._**


	2. Child's Play

**A/N: Well! Here's a second chapter! It is quite a bit longer than the last one, and I'm afraid it will only continue to be so. Anyway, it has been a few years since Gaara has last seen Lee. Gaara is almost six years old, making Lee at least seven. I realize this thinking is probably a little more than what normal children think, but Gaara has never been normal, thus it all makes sense to me :D Hoorah! I am also aware that squirrels don't normally come out in winter, but there are times when they do wake up. This just happens to be one of those times! x] Please enjoy this second installment, and comment!**

* * *

Oh curious child,

Bright eyed and bushy tailed.

Had you always been this way? No, not always.

I remember though, when it started.

I was there. Always have been.

Always will.

* * *

Father was an important man, with important customers.

Often, he would travel to different villages to conference.

I jumped at the chance to see you again, oh curious child.

How long had it been

Since I had last seen your face?

Months? Years? Lifetimes?

It felt like it.

Temari and Kankuro

They didn't understand.

I did not expect them to, and tried hard to keep them away.

I wanted you for my own.

You're mine, don't you know?

Your village was cold when we arrived.

Tender crystals fell from the sky

It was shocking, and so very new.

I hated it.

But I would endure it, if only to see you again.

Everyday my Father would leave me

"Don't get into trouble," he said.

Like a good child, I promised I would try.

And when he left, so did I.

Oh curious child,

Do you know how long I looked for you?

Hours out in the frozen world

Sneaking around buildings and houses.

I visited your old home

I found it by memory.

Could still smell the blood from those people who died so long ago.

It warmed me when the sun would not.

No, it was near the end of my stay that I found you.

It was in a clearing away from town

There with a blonde, a brunette, and two girls.

Who were they?

For a moment, I was lost in my anger.

How dare they think they could be anything to you?

It passed before anything could become of it

I hid myself so you wouldn't see me.

"Naruto, look! The mother is up there!"

I wanted to weep when I heard your voice.

The Angel's song was merely a broken choir in comparison.

You pointed high into the tree

A hole sank into the trunk.

Slowly, a head popped out

Before hiding away again.

The creature in the tree was furry

Brown, and very shy apparently.

I was not sure about why you were here, until you opened your hands

And inside was a baby.

"Lee...That is way too high. Can't you just leave it down here?"

One of the girl's asked, with a frown.

She had white eyes and short black hair.

The girl beside her nodded in agreement.

"I want to go home. It's too cold!"

Whiny, human females.

I was tempted to send the frozen crystals flying towards them.

Show them to not question your motives.

Whatever they were.

Naruto, the blonde, sighed and turned away.

"I ain't helping you, Bushy Brows! I'll stand back and watch!"

He, the other male, and the girls backed away.

Left you all alone.

With me.

I watched your face as they walked away oh curious child.

Why did you seem so sad?

Those people mean little in the world

And should mean less to you.

Your face was pale under your caramel skin

Though your cheeks were a rosy red.

And brown eyes showed the determination

Even though those children cared not.

Where was your jacket, your gloves, your hat?

I could see you shivering and shaking

Even so far away.

But slowly you faced the tree again, and to my surprise you began to climb.

The tree was a great one. So wide and many heights.

Though you easily climbed it, even with one hand holding the animal.

My breath had frozen in the air as I watched you do this feat.

I knew I had made a good choice

In choosing you.

Along the branch near the hole you sat.

Tenderly you dropped the creature, and pushed it towards the hole.

"Be careful, Lee! It might bite you!"

"Don't fall Lee!"

"Hurry up and leave it Lee, I want to go home!"

Those children shouted at you.

But under their breath I could hear the words they really meant to say.

"Stupid Lee, so dim and caring."

"He cannot climb a tree so high."

"I am tired of watching this, let us leave him."

Before I could react, I heard you cry.

My heart shattered as I saw you fall from the tree.

Sand reached out under the snow, lifting up and catching you

Eased you to the ground.

Those children crowded around you

Fake comfort and lying worry.

The squirrel had bit you, and you lost your balance.

I could see the red contrasting your fingers.

Oh how it made me angry.

I watched them lead you away

Watched how you smiled and said you were fine.

And when you were gone I approached the tree.

Slowly began to climb.

Upon the branch that you had sat

I reached into the hole.

The filthy creature, the stupid animal tried to bite me too

But the sand kept me safe.

How dare these little creatures

Offer you such pain?

I choked the mother with the sand

Slowly her eyes turned red and she stopped twitching.

The child, the one you saved

No, that one did not deserve life either.

I ripped the fuzzy tail off

Along with it's ears.

I broke the teeth in half

And used it them gash along the brown side.

The blood that then was spilling

It soaked into the sand.

I carried the small bodies back to the village.

And had a pair of ear muffs made of that fur.

That warm, soft, brown fur.

I kept them with me always, until it was time to leave.

I had only seen you once, and yet I now knew where you lived.

I begged Father for a few moments, and was blessed with permission.

Running to the place you lived I set them on your bed.

Hoping when you returned

You would know it was from me.

Stay warm, oh curious child.

* * *

That little tumble though, it didn't cause you fear.

If anything it made you stronger, more curious

And led you to do many more things.

But this I know, because I was there.

_Always_ have been.

**Always** will.


	3. Name on My Heart

**A/N: Ah...Well...This is part One of Three of this chapter. Hence why it is so short. I assume that it's easier to read when it's shorter than when it's longer. That, and the next two chaptesr are going to be formatted slightly different. I will not confuse myself further! As quick summary... In this shot, Gaara is old enough to travel alone. He goes to find his beloved Lee, but what does he find? Hrm, Hrm, Hrm! The devastation! Or not. Please remember that I LOVE critical responses, if you do not enjoy the story, please tell me so. If you do enjoy the story, please tell me! In any case, I hope you DO enjoy this segment!**

* * *

Bastard Creature,

Fiend that rules my heart and mind.

Why do you torment me so?

Do I **hate** you?

Do I **love** you?

Your name is on my heart.

Your heart is on my mind.

Why?

Why?

* * *

It had been so long, oh demon-sent

Since that time in the snow.

The world turned and spun, I felt as though I were wasting away without your light.

But finally, finally I returned to you.

I was old enough to leave the sand behind on my own.

I didn't need a guide.

My sand remembered you

It led me to you.

To your world of green and wetness

The clouds blocked the sun's shine and more moisture pelted me.

Nothing mattered but to see you,

To bask in your presence.

I arrived in your village, Konaha had long since grown.

Did you know, oh demon, that I had to ask around for you?

"Training grounds, with his Gai-Sensei."

They all told me, while trying not to stare.

I'm a strange creature, you know.

Who was this 'Gai-Sensei?'

My curiosity flared to life, and I hurried to find you.

When I found you, I could not believe how you'd grown.

Your hair was much the same, glossy and shaped.

But good God! So tall! So muscular!

I could see every inch of you, through that silly green outfit.

Then I saw the blood.

It dripped off your hands.

The ungrateful ground sucking it in.

Why did you smile?

You swung at a log with bloodied fists with glorious speed.

I would have been in awe,

Were I not shocked by the liquid dripping.

And the man encouraging the insanity.

He looked just like you, but different.

He sported the same brows, hair, and green.

I could see it in his eyes.

The love, the adoration, the pride.

And through the glass of your beautiful eyes, I saw it reflected.

You loved this man?

That filthy slab of meat?

Though he caused you pain?

Spilled your red life on undeserving earth?

I was angry.

Something snapped inside my heart, inside my mind.

I was there, beside him, beside you.

Livid.

I wanted to rip that man's eyes out and shove them through his throat.

I would hold his heart in my palm

A present for you.

The look on his face showed me he wasn't expecting me,

But God! He was so fast.

The sand barely caught him, but he brushed it off as though it were nothing.

He flew, oh tainted creature

As though wings were attached to his toes.

My sand was the only thing between his fists and feet

And myself.

It was only a game though. He wouldn't make it through this.

I trapped him under the sand.

A bird in a cage.

I planned to rip those wings off.

Something unexpected happened though.

You know it very well though, don't you?

My sand would never touch you, never scratch you.

It melted away as you came for me

You touched my skin when I wasn't looking.

Your fist planted against my cheek, and sent me flying.

You hit me.

You,

Hit me.

I struggled with this.

No one had ever dared touch me

Less, hit me.

Was that how you returned love?

Couldn't you see that I was going to kill that man for you, out of love?

It hurt. The pain spread through my body

Freezing my heart.

Was your love associated with this pain?

I remember your eyes

Your glorious eyes.

You looked at me as though I were a monster.

A monster!

And you wanted to kill me.

Do you remember this?

Does it plague you in your sleep now?

I left quickly before anything would touch me further.

The sand hissed and swirled taking me to a home

Away from home.

* * *

It came while I sat alone, carving your name on my heart.

Carving your heart on my head.

It hurt, it hurt.

Do I **love** you?

Do I **hate** you?

It torments me.

The mark on my forehead won't let me forget.

_Never let me forget._


	4. Dreams of Red

**A/N: Whoops! It has taken me quite some time to put a new chapter out. Forgive me please! But this chapter is interesting! You know why? It's from Lee's point of view! So what can I say about this chapter?... In short, Lee is confused! I am already working on the next chapter, and I hope to have it out very soon. Thank you for reading! Enjoy and please comment!**

* * *

When I was young I believed in angels.

The kind of angels that would swoop down

And save you from your sorrows.

But that was before I knew of demons

Demons, who would rip the wings of angels off and wear their faces.

I used to believe in angels. At least I did before I knew him.

The boy with the pretty face and red hair.

* * *

I don't remember much of my childhood

There was a beautiful woman with tender hands

And a tender smile

And a man I assume to be my father

Who would carry me on his shoulders and parade me around.

While most of my memories of back then are foggy

* * *

One is very clear.

The last night I ever saw my parents.

We were walking home from an out-to-eat dinner

Mother and Father both held my hands.

It was as we passed a building that I saw a flash of red.

A boy was sitting all alone on the steps

A boy with brilliant red hair

And gorgeous green eyes.

Mother said something to me, and I looked away.

When we got home I listened to her read me a story

And Father stood at the door frame.

When she was done she gave me a kiss

And turned off the light.

A nightmare confronted me.

My father's screams echoed in my head

And the sound of my mother begging for her life haunts me still.

I thought I would wake up, but a warm hand touched my face

And I calmed.

I slipped back into sleep.

How naïve it was to think it was my mother.

I slept in her blood that night.

* * *

Another memory that stands out happened years later.

I was living in a foster home by then.

It was in the dead of winter that I found a baby squirrel.

The poor thing, it broke my heart to see it shiver so.

It was helpless.

I took it to the biggest tree in the forest.

Climbed the tree and set in inside the hollow.

But for some reason I can not remember

I fell out of the tree.

When I returned home, I found a pair of ear-muffs

Resting on the bed.

I thought perhaps my angel had come back

And given me a gift.

That is around the time I realized my angel

Wasn't so angelic.

When I touched the muffs, the texture

Was familiar.

It was the fur from the baby squirrel.

I remember throwing up until I saw blood.

It was awful.

* * *

I prayed to God, asking him why he would send me

An angel so horrific? So bloodthirsty?

When no answer came,

I took matters into my own hands.

I trained in Taijutsu under the man named

Maito Gai

He became a father figure to me

Forced me to become stronger and better

Than I had ever hoped to be.

I loved him.

One day while we trained

The hair on the back of my neck stood straight up

Sand under my feet shivered gleefully

And then a streak of red flew by

Have you ever seen an angel?

Some people think of a chubby baby with a bow and arrow

Others think of a tall, gentle woman with open arms.

The creature that sped past me,

That was crushing my "father" without mercy

Blew those other angels away.

Red hair was brighter and stood out more than any halo ever could

His skin was porcelain, not even the smallest blemish

Black rings emphasized shockingly green eyes.

How could God have made something so...

Perfect?

"Lee!"

My "father" called, pulling me out of my trance.

He was dying under the hand

Of my angel.

Before my brain could catch up

My body moved ahead, fist poised

Aimed for that demon.

I expected some resistance from his sand

For the sand was his weapon

But the armor melted away as I got closer

I will never forget his face before I hit him

He fled, the demon with red hair.

It was as though that one touch

Was enough to send my angel away.

* * *

I used to believe in demons

The kind that tainted the angel and preyed on humans

But that was before I knew of angels

Angels, who would kiss your cheek and haunt your dreams

With their tenderness.

With their green eyes.

Oh yes, I used to believe in demons.

But that was before I met him.

The boy with the pretty face and red hair.


	5. Light of Insanity

**A/N: Please forgive me agian for such a late update! I realize this is a short chapter, but the next few are more interesting/action filled! Thank you very much for the reviews given, and I while I may not answer them, I really do appreciate you sending them! Please continue to do so! And so, I present to you the next chapter! Please enjoy your reading!**

* * *

Oh fragile heart

How I see so clearly now

Previous questions have answers and the dark hallway has been lit.

I know what I am to you, and I know who you are to me.

You know it too, don't you? Don't you?

Oh fragile heart, so easily broken.

Know I only do this for you.

For Death is the greatest form of love.

* * *

After that day when you touched me

When I fled away from your eyes

From your beautiful eyes

That saw me

As a monster

I can not recall most of that time.

The sand I carry curled around me

A doting mother

I never had.

And in her gentle caresses I heard her

Whisper crystal clear.

She gave me the answer, the only way

For you to return my love

Was to pull the hearts out of every living being

And present them to you.

Then, the only two people left

Would be me and you

And with no one else alive

Who else but me, would your affections turn to?

I lived many years

With blood decorating my skin

Holding every scream close to my heart

Saving each heart in a jar

For the day I would give them to you.

I took pleasure in the bones that broke

In the wounds that bled into the dirt

They were a marking stone,

Telling me how close I was to being yours.

One day father said, "You will leave this village

And travel to Konoha,

There you will take part in an exam

To advance further in rank inside the villages."

My brother and sister we chosen to come too

And though they wore brave faces

I could smell their fear, their anxiety

At traveling with me

Being close to me

Radiating from their skin.

They feared that one day I would kill them

On my quest to earn your affection.

In the end, they would be right.

I was not going to spare anyone.

Kankuro and Temari trained hard,

They wanted to pass this, "exam"

But I had no wish to pass,

I cared not if I were to fail (though I was certain I would not)

Because I knew that you resided

Inside Konoha, so green.

The sand whispered to me at night

Telling me of how you would accept my gifts

A fantasy, but nothing more.

The true words being said

That the sand, she wouldn't outright say

Were slowly becoming clearer.

And on the night before we left for your village

I stared at the moon,

And was given my answer.

* * *

Oh fragile heart, so easily shattered

I threw those old withered organs away

And set my sights upon something different.

Yes, the light is shining again.

I only need one,

One heart to keep with me always.

You know who is belongs to, don't you?

Of course, because that one heart

Oh fragile heart

_Belongs to you._


	6. An Eyelash, Batted

**A/N: Oh! Oh Oh Oh! Can you believe it? It's been almost seven days since my last update! Even more so, it's Christmas! Is this your Christmas Present? From me to you! Now, as I am writing this, and looking back on the older chapters...I almost feel as though I have gone to a different story. The ending will still be the same, but the insides are changing. I suppose it's a form of bad writers orginization! Does this seem like a different story? To me it does. In any case, please continue to leave reviews (because I do love them so!) and enjoy the read! Please enjoy!**

* * *

Oh broken warrior

So strong, but so weak.

Do you remember that day

When I walked into your village?

Oh, it makes me shiver

When I draw the image to my mind.

* * *

On the morning of my departure

My father cornered me

And while he was the most important

In our village, I could feel

His fear seeping out of him.

I breathed it in

I enjoyed it as much as oxygen.

"Remember the plan, Gaara"

He said quietly, though he didn't look me in the eye

"At the end of the third round,

You are to let…him…loose.

Is this understood?"

I barely gave him any thought

Behind a nod of my head.

I didn't care what he wanted, in the end,

Because all I wanted was

To find you.

We left my sandy home, and traveled

Long into the night.

Had you heard of my arrival?

Heard of the boy, who stank of old

Bloody hearts?

Anxiety panged me as I entered

But the sand hid the emotion

Behind a mask of fine grain.

On our way to where we would stay

Kankuro and Temari got into a scuffle

With some blond idiot,

A pink balloon of hot air

And a dark creature who's eyes

Reflected the soul I held inside.

As I listened to them babble

The sand whispered lovely, bloody words.

_Kill them. Kill them. Kill. Kill. Kill. Take their hearts. Rip them apart. Bury them beneath us. They are noth-_

My fingers twitched under the armor

Remembering how it felt to pull

The beating organs from those...others.

The shinobi inside me,

Who was under the command of my father

Warned me, pushing away the sand's words

_Play nice,_ it said

And with a curt word,

I took my siblings away

Pausing only once to offer my name

To the creature with hollow eyes.

As we walked to the first exam

I sent my "eyes" out to search for you

To find you

So I would know when you were near.

The sand tugged me harshly

As though there were a string on my finger

Attached to you.

I followed it without a thought though

And left my brother and sister behind

With a confused and frightened look at me.

I cloaked my existence

Followed the pull

And hid behind a pillar

There down below me, I saw a scene that would pull my own heart out

And place it in a jar.

You were down there, brilliant and gorgeous

In that outrageous green suit.

There, along with the blonde I encountered

You crouched down, and I watched as the orange blob

Came at you.

With a speed that took my intent focus to follow

You swept the legs out from under the other

And returned to your original position.

An instrument of delicate precision

Of hard work, of muscle and grace

You had become.

I watched you dance with that boy

A ballet only you and I could hear the tune to.

You moved as though you were the water

And the blonde was a stone dropped into your depths.

Oh broken warrior,

You were beautiful.

And then that other one, the dark one

Stepped in, and in one move

Had you flat on your back in shock.

The breath left my lungs too, did you know?

I shared that same moment with you

Intimate, and yet not.

He saw through you, heard the tune

And tripped you during the solo.

I hated him for it. Swore I would be the one to pull his heart out.

My limbs moved to get closer to you

To wrap my arms around you.

But then you whirled about and batted

One, thick set of eyelashes

At the girl with pink hair.

And a smile that was far too practiced to be real

Followed a blown kiss.

At the girl with pink hair.

The cavity inside my chest pulsated

Radiating despair and hate, and need.

I clutched at the empty place, wanting to rage, wanting to cry.

Because you had found someone else to turn your affections to

Someone who, as soon as the kiss was blown

Dogged out of the way with absolutely urgency.

She didn't

Couldn't

Love you.

But you turned your sights to her.

My cloak faded, letting my chakra spike.

Your eyes met mine for one moment

Yours widening with emotion...

...At seeing me.

I turned away, feeling my control lessen on the leash

Of the tanuki inside.

The sand whispered to me again

Telling me how full I would feel

To have your heart beating where mine should be.

If only I had your heart

Would I be complete again.

* * *

That day I walked into your village

Set everything in motion

My broken warrior who dished out

Those false emotions I saved you from.

But I still remember seeing your face

When you saw me behind that pillar

It was _fear._

It was _longing._


End file.
